Match Result: Ashford 6 - MJL 1
 
In a disappointing night for the overwhelming 1/10 on favourites, a young and vibrant Ashford team led by the excellent Tony Kennedy produced one of the greatest upsets in cup football.
 
A brace of goals each from three of Ashford’s world class players settled the tie in brilliant fashion.  Rising star Niall Lawless was presented with the man of the match award (son of legendary “Andy goal-a-game Lawless”).  Unfortunately due to Niall only being 17 the bottle of bubbly award will have to be put on ice till his 18th.
 
Both the Queen and Prime Minister Gordon Brown are demanding that the entire Ashford team are awarded Knighthoods.  A straw poll revealed 95% of the public are in favour of an extra public holiday and an open top bus parade through the centre of London.

The Star

Night of high drama at match tie overshadowed by match fixing allegations.

Ashford Town 6 Michael J Lonsdale Ltd 1.

On a night when all that is best in English football should have been on display the enjoyment was sullied by allegations of match fixing and unregistered players appearing for the Ashford team. In scenes resembling a farce the Argentina striker Nialleo and fellow team mate Antonio Kennidis appeared for the “Blues” despite suspicions both players are ineligible and are owned by third party agents. The Lonsdale manager Kevin Feerick (who is above suspicion) stated “It’s a farce, they don’t even know each others names. 

 It was evident  MJL  fielded a  young vibrant side who were more than a match for the “Blues” however a brutally kicked ball directed at Bob Brown MJL’s star striker meant he had to retire from play early in the second half and was subsequently hospitalised. Luckily there is some overtime available this week end and he is expected to make a full recovery by 3pm today.

It was obvious to all those spectating that Lonsdale were the better team however Ashford used their considerable weight advantage to good effect and managed to over run the Lonsdale defence. In an ugly scene after the game the Lonsdale manager was heard to harangue the referee shouting “Do I not like that” and “you’ve cost me my job you have”

The chairman of Lonsdale, Michael Hoodless stated “ Our manager has my full confidence and support and the vote of confidence of the board, if you see him can you ask him to bring the car back”

Regrettably the chairman of the Blues Sir Roger Dodger Carlin was unavailable for comment and was still being interviewed by the police investigating the “Cash for honours scandal”. A spokesman said “he aint done nothing wrong, he paid for that honour fair and square in cash, gave it to his mate Tony in a brown envelope, its not like he’s a northerner or summin”

The Ashford Manager snazzy Lawless was in jubilant mood after the game “ I fielded a team of old wrecks and has been’s “ he enthused, “They (Lonsdale)  were a young team and it just goes to show what you can achieve with a bunch of no hopers past their best, make no mistake we will be making team changes for  the upcoming game!

The rematch scheduled for September will be under a cloud following last night’s events.